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04 April 2009 @ 06:36 pm

Title: My Sacrifice for You

Pairing: Kangteuk

Other Characters: Mystery girl?

Genre: Heartbreak, regret, sacrifice.

Rating: PG.


He tried his hardest to block out all of his thoughts as he stared hard into the blank wall ahead of him.


“Don’t cover up, you little bitch.” the man in front of him demanded in a stale, cold voice.


He let go of his hands that were covering up his private areas, as he bared all for the man to see. He was almost prostituting himself, selling his body away so cheaply, but he didn’t care for all of that self-betrayal now; all he cared about was the money he was able to earn to help the one he loved succeed and achieve his dreams.




Kangin was trapped. He was not in physical danger, but he was in emotional and mental danger. And there was nothing he could do.


“Why won’t you…stay with me, tonight?” a slender and fair finger trailed down from his neck to the zip of his pants.


It belonged to a woman, a sexy, feisty, ever so seductive woman that only had on a black-laced bra and barely any visible cloth for panties. But Kangin didn’t show any signs of giving in or attraction. He was faithful to the one he loved.




“Here’s your money, you dirty cheap son of a bitch.” The man threw the money in Leeteuk’s face, as he packed up his camera and left.


Leeteuk was putting on his clothes, but as he saw the money cascading to the floor, afraid that some might be lost if he didn’t pick them up now, he dropped all his clothes and left his shirt unbuttoned as he snatched all the money up from the floor, just like how a beggar stuffs himself with food when it is served to him.


This money that I have earned…it finally is enough for Kangin to realize his dream! I’ll go to his house right now…to hand this to him…but sorry Kangin-ah, I cannot reveal to you that I have gotten this money from bearing my body for others to see…because I want to see my love succeed happily, without feeling indebt to me.




Kangin finally managed to get out of the woman’s house, which he swore resembled hell, as he was trapped inside with the female devil, trying to get him to sin. But the problem now was, they were in her car, outside his house. He had wanted to go home, but she insisted on accompanying him there, in case he changed his mind on the way.

“No, I really can’t do this. I’m already in love with someone else. And I’m forever faithful to him” Kangin pushed the woman away in the car. But she was throwing herself upon him harder and harder whenever he resisted.


Him? You’re in love with a man? What pleasure can he give you? Stick with me…I’ll be your slave…” she kissed his lips passionately, and he could taste the lipstick.


“No,” Kangin said firmly, “stop this, I’m warning you. If not, we’ll be friends no more.”


At this point, the woman stopped kissing him and fell back into her seat.


“Okay, fine. This…it’s your loss, anyways.”




Leeteuk packed up all of his belongings and rushed straight to Kangin’s house. He glanced at his watch.

11.45pm. It was late, but he really wished to hand the money to Kangin. At least he could do something significant for his love.


As Leeteuk boarded the bus, it began to rain heavily outside. Shocks of white electricity lighted up the sky and the fierce rumbling of thunder could be heard even from far away. The man didn’t have any umbrella or any thing that could shelter him for that matter, but he didn’t care for that. He would swim across any floods if he had to, just to reach Kangin’s house and hand him the money. It wasn’t a rational thinking, but it was all Leeteuk could think about, really.


It wasn’t as though handing Kangin the money in the middle of the night would bring him fame in that instant, but Leeteuk was selfish; he desperately wished to see the look of happiness and love on Kangin’s face.


A while later, he reached his stop. As the bus door opened and Leeteuk alighted, he was greeted with heavy rain splashing down onto the pavements and making loud whacking noises.


But he didn’t care. He clutched the money tightly in his pockets as he ran in the rain, his destination, Kangin’s front door.




There was a single click, and the four locks on each of the car doors were unlocked. Kangin knew that he was free, and he knew he had to dash out of the car before the woman that held him ‘captive’ changed her mind again.


As he reached for the door to get out, her sexy voice came up from behind him again, “but before you leave,” her voice had changed; now it sounded so defeated, “could you at least give me a goodbye kiss?”


Kangin turned around and looked into her eyes. A goodbye kiss, yeah. Why not? At least she was brave enough to go after me. A kiss won’t betray my feelings for Leeteuk, would it?


Kangin leaned forward, slowly manipulating his lips and carefully inched forward a bit more until they touched the warmth of her cheeks. But the woman had tricked Kangin; she forced his lips onto hers when he was close enough. Kangin struggled for a while, and finally managed to pull himself away. He was petrified at what the woman had done, and he quickly got out of the car.


But what he didn’t know was, unluckily enough, the windows of the car were not tinted, unluckily enough, the timing was just wrong, unluckily enough…




…Leeteuk saw it.




The scene of Kangin leaning in to kiss that mystery woman kept replaying ever so clearly in Leeteuk’s mind, just like a movie.


And with every scene replayed, a dose of venom seemed to penetrate Leeteuk’s veins and stopped his heart. Leeteuk’s mind was blank for words; he couldn’t think of anything to say, he couldn’t even think straight. His heart hurt so much, so much, as though a knife had pierced through it. He couldn’t feel the warmth, and it wasn’t because of the rain. He was almost so certain he had stopped breathing.




As Kangin got out of the car and into the heavy downpour, he heaved a sigh of relief to have escaped with all of his virginity still kept. He glanced around casually until his eyes unexpectedly landed on a silly soul standing in the rain, a mere few meters away.


Kangin was already drenched, but the way the stranger was standing in the distance made him squint his eyes to see his face. And then, he realized.


“L…Leeteuk? What are you--,”


“HOW COULD YOU?!” Leeteuk interrupted him, his voice full of hatred and betrayal, as he screamed those words out from his heart.


It was full of hatred, that even the noise of the pouring rain seemed to have been drowned out by it.


Leeteuk didn’t even wait for a reply from Kangin, as he had already started running in the opposite direction, barely able see what was in front of him, as the rain came down heavier, blinding his sense of direction. Kangin chased after him desperately.


Leeteuk ran as fast as he could, and he planned to carry on running until he could run no more. Kangin’s voice could be heard, as he called out for his name somewhere in the rain, but Leeteuk didn’t care anymore.


Suddenly, there was a bright white light heading for Leeteuk, and then a loud awakening horn sounded out. But by the time Leeteuk realized what it was, it was too late for him to dodge it. There was a loud bang and Leeteuk felt a searing pain in his left leg. He felt himself being lifted into the air, almost as though like he was flying. Then, a loud thud followed not long after and everything went pitch black.


“LEETEUK! LEETEUK!” Kangin was standing so near Leeteuk, but it was too late to save him. The younger man shouted his hyung’s name so desperately, as he ran to his body on the road, slammed his knees to the ground, and started slapping, pushing, shaking him in hopes that the man would open his eyes and wake up.


But, Leeteuk’s death was confirmed when thick crimson blood oozed out from Leeteuk’s head as he laid there in the rain, with Kangin by his side, crying for his loss.


As Kangin mourned by himself in the rain, his eyes shifted to something that had caused a slight buldge in his hyung’s pocket. Kangin reached into it, and pulled out a stack of money. He threw them all behind him, and dug deeper, as though instincts had influenced him to do so. Then, he found a note:


“Kangin-ah, I know you’ve always been wanting to send your demo to the recording studio, in hopes of achieving your lifelong dream of becoming a famous singer. So, I’ve worked many countless nights, and I have finally raised this money, just for you. Please keep the money and do not feel indebt to me, as when you have become famous and are living your dream, is when you have already paid me back in full.”


Kangin clutched the note so tightly in his hand that he could feel his hand going numb, but he didn’t care. He put his fist to his heart, and started to cry out loud, not caring about his life as he laid down in the middle of the road, and rested his head on the chest of the cold, lifeless body of the man he loved.

29 March 2009 @ 08:07 pm

Title: Cooking, Cooking.
Pairing: Kangteuk
Genre: Love, Sex
Rating: PG- 13

Donned in a pink apron, complete with laces coming down the sides, Leeteuk was almost standing an awkward one meter away from the stove. The oil in the frying pan was sizzling and jumping, hungry for the fish dangling by its tail in Leeteuk’s hand.

Shit, I shouldn’t have even thought of this idea to cook,” the helpless and clueless man scolded himself.

After a miraculous successful attempt at letting the fish slide into the frying pan to be cooked, Leeteuk turned his attention somewhere else in the kitchen, where other dishes were also being cooked and left unattended. A strong smell of burnt rice and overcooked food clogged up his nostrils, and he immediately turned everything off.

Leeteuk stared at all the burnt food, and sighed in defeat.

“Now, Kangin is going to come home to burnt food and a helpless idiot.”

As though coincidence wanted Leeteuk to face his doom sooner, the fumbling of keys outside the house and the click of the door lock signaled Kangin’s return.

“Yah! Leeteukie hyung! Is dinner ready?” Kangin called out cheerfully, as he entered the house.

Leeteuk didn’t dare step out of the kitchen – he could already imagine Kangin kungfu-throwing him all around the house once he told the latter about the burnt food.

Instead, the man, still donned in the ridiculous pink apron, peeped out from behind the kitchen wall and said, “Kangin! I’m in the kitchen! But there’s something I have to tell you…”

“What is it?”

“The…the food is all burnt.” Leeteuk’s voice was full of defeat, as he revealed the results of his first attempt at cooking a full meal.

But his dongsaeng didn’t mind that he returned home to burnt food, at all, as he saw his hyung dressed up in a cute pink apron, hair all messy as perspiration ran down his neck and disappearing into his now-almost-translucent white shirt.

A sense of longing and passion took over Kangin as he pushed his hyung into the kitchen. Leeteuk was shocked, as he stood trapped between Kangin and the table behind him.

Kangin pushed away everything on the table, causing them all to fall onto the floor, some breaking into a million pieces while others clanged loudly as it hit the floor. But Kangin didn’t care about the noise. He pinned Leeteuk down onto the table.

“K..Kangin, what are you trying t..to do? Look at all the shards of broken porcelain on the floor!” Leeteuk made a failed attempt to divert Kangin’s attention somewhere else as he tried to push him away.

“At least they’ll make sure that you won’t be able to escape from me, now.”

Kangin loosened the knot behind the apron and raped his hyung, baring white, flawless flesh. The latter was fighting hard, but Kangin could tell that he wasn’t giving his fullest to resist Kangin’s advance, as though he wanted more.

This feeling allowed Kangin to be deaf to all his hyung’s pleas to let him off, as he placed his hands firmly on Leeteuk’s non-existing pelvis, touching the soft skin, like of that of an angel’s. Kangin then slid his erection into Leeteuk’s entrance and the older man let out a long, passionate moan as Kangin went in deeper.

A few more times of the same repeated action, picking up speed once in a while when Kangin gathered up all his energy for a boost.

After what seemed like a mere few minutes of pleasurable sex for Kangin and forever of never-ending moans for Leeteuk, Kangin’s stamina allowed him to only go that far and he let Leeteuk off. White sticky substance leaked from Kangin’s erection and Leeteuk’s entrance, and Kangin scooped it up with his index finger, then licking it like a child with a lollipop, while Leeteuk just laid there, gasping for breath after being raped.

“Hyung, I’m full already.”

“Full? From what! Raping me?!”

“From raping you, fucking you, and making sure that you’ll be my perfectly flawless angel for life.”

20 March 2009 @ 03:05 pm

AHHHHHHHHHHH HELLO MY FRIENDS ! It's been quite a loooooooooooooooooong while since I posted a fic. So, here it goes. It's a pointless one, though. Just had some inspiration. *smirks* enjoy!

Title: Only What You Want to Know
Pairing: Yesung, Ryeowook
Genre: -
Rating: PG- 13

Yesung tilted his head slightly to the left and took a glance at Ryeowook. The boy was still sitting on the small platform, with both his feet tucked together, with his arms cuddling them and the rest of his body, as he stared out into the window.

“Yah, Ryeowook,” Yesung began, “stop wasting your time. Get over here and massage your hyung’s shoulders; they’re aching from all that rehearsal yesterday!”

“Later, hyung. I was just wondering about something…”

“What, what? Tell me, please!” Yesung pleaded animatedly. By now, he had already covered the distance between the two of them.

“Hyung, this bothers me a lot. I went into Leeteuk hyung’s room to get back my earphones which he had borrowed from me, and as I stepped onto the side of his bed…” Ryeowook sighed and his voice trailed away. The young man wasn’t sure at all, if he should make a big deal out of this, if it was appropriate to tell his hyung.

“And?” Yesung leaned forward, eyes getting wider, as if bracing himself to hear something unbelievable and shocking.

“…and I saw a substance on the floor. It was white, it was really sticky and I also found that there were some on hyung’s bed, too. I wonder if hyung is sick or ill? Where did all that come from? What is tha--,”

Yesung gently placed his finger onto Ryeowook’s lips, and Ryeowook immediately stopped talking. They remained in that position for a while, which Yesung took the time to process everything he had just heard and trying to think of the best way to explain it to the innocent little boy.

“Firstly, don’t worry; Leeteuk hyung isn’t ill. And secondly, what you saw was actually...” Yesung found it hard to go on. He could feel Ryeowook’s eyes looking up at him innocently, awaiting an explanation for his unexpected find. Yesung felt like Ryeowook was a book with pages that were completely blank and fine-cut, and he didn’t want to be the murderer of that  innocence and purity by telling his magnae what he actually discovered. It was like Yesung’s explanation was a drop of dirty black ink, who was threatening to ruin the pages of the book by dripping onto it.

The older male took in a deep breath, cleared away all his thoughts and continued, “it was cum.”

Yesung realized that his magnae would still be exposed to the world and all of its contents sooner or later, and he might as well just explain it to Ryeowook. Just like how a book with blank pages opens up to allow ink to sink into its pages and knowledge to be written.

“Cum? What’s that? Are you sure?”

”Yes, remember Kangin hyung went into Leeteuk's room and didn't come out for a very long time? And would you really like to know?” Yesung leaned in closer. His heart suddenly pumped faster after he had heard the reply from his magnae. He suddenly had this urge to reach out and unbutton Ryeowook’s shirt, to lay him down on the bed and…

“Yes, of course!”

Yesung pushed Ryeowook down and went on top of him, raping him by tearing his shirt open and bearing his chest. He then quickly took off his pants. His movements were so quick, it was almost like he was rushing for time.

“Hyung! What are you doing?!” Ryeowook was screaming as he tried to fight off the man on top of him but it was no use.

“Showing you what you want to know before the others return home."

Current Mood: rushedAHH! homework T~T
12 March 2009 @ 09:27 pm

Sorry for not updating T___T ~
I've been busy with school stuffs ~
Anyways, their 3Jib is released today! :D

Enjoy ~





Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
04 March 2009 @ 08:59 pm
Ah ~  
I'm sorry I haven't been updating ~ I've been really busy with school stuffs and all ):
Anyways, the request thing is still open, so you all can still comment !

And, just to entertain (hopefully) you, here's just this short poem I thought of by myself when I was dozing off in chinese tuition class:

I guess it wasn't as spectacular,
As I dreamt it to be.

There was no connection,
none like static electricty.

That was when I realised,
The fire dying in your eyes;
That what you said were nothing,

Nothing more than lies.

IS IT NICE, FELLOW MEMBERS? :/ Anyways, I'm so anticipating Super Junior's 3Jib ~ -fangirls-
Current Mood: complacentawaiting.
28 February 2009 @ 02:57 pm

Title: Hottug! (requested) [info]millieruici
Pairing: Eunteuk
Genre: Comedy
Rating: General

“Goodnight! Thank you all for the hard work today!” Leeteuk waved and called out to the staff as he and Eunhyuk left the radio station.

“Yah, hyung,” Eunhyuk said, rubbing his stomach in circular motions, “all that talk about hot dog…It’s making me hungry!”

Leeteuk glanced at his dongsaeng’s stomach and back up at his face, then smiled and replied softly, “then let’s go and have that for supper, now!”

Both of them walked down a few blocks, and when they turned round a bend, they found themselves right outside the building where they both stayed, and there was the familiar push-cart with the same old uncle selling hot dogs.

“Yah, good night, uncle! Two hot dogs, please!” Leeteuk greeted the old man cheerily, as though he was an old friend. Almost immediately, two sausages appeared right in front of the two young men, and they each took their own.

“Ah, hot!” Eunhyuk gasped, has he slightly jumped backwards.

”Hahah, silly! Don’t be greedy; eat it slowly!”

As they were once again on their way up to the dormitory and eating their hot dogs, Eunhyuk suddenly stopped in his tracks and looked straight at the half eaten sausage that he held tightly in his hand.

“Hyukkie,” Leeteuk turned around, puzzled by the sudden halt of Eunhyuk, “what’s up?”

“Hyung,” Eunhyuk’s eyes were becoming cross-eyed from staring so hard at the sausage, “look at this.”

The younger man loosened his grip on the sausage slightly, then began to shake it gently, left and right, till it wobbled like jelly.

“It’s wiggling!” Eunhyuk grinned sheepishly, his voice suddenly of that of a three year old boy being so fascinated with a new toy.

”This reminds me of episode three! Of The Naughty Nurse!”

“Eunhyuk ah, what the hell? All that yadong has gotten into your head!” Leeteuk couldn’t help but feel amused, as he tried to grab hold of the wiggling sausage.

“Uh oh…” Eunhyuk’s expression changed; the sausage in his hand had also stopped moving so suggestively.

He gestured Leeteuk towards the lower half of his body, and the latter had no choice but to follow the path, only to see a growing bulge in Eunhyuk’s jeans.

“Eunhyuk ah, we have to buy you some tighter underwear."

25 February 2009 @ 09:39 pm

Title: This is my song to you.
Characters: Leeteuk, Kangin, Siwon.
Genre: Love
Rating: General

There was it again, on the headlines of the school newspaper. His picture had been blown up and printed onto the front page, underlining the bold words that bore, “Musician of the Year”.


“He’s just another fake.”
”Yeah, I heard his parents had pulled some strings.”


Whispers grew behind him as he read the words reporting about his nomination. The conversations were soft, but loud enough for him to hear. Bear with it. Just bear with it.




“Hi, hyung! Congratulations on your title for the third consecutive year!”


Leeteuk turned around, only to see a boy his age standing behind him, smiling enthusiastically. The former didn’t know how to respond to the greeting, though, as the strange boy was the first person in the whole school to congratulate him. And probably the only person to do so. The tired man just grinned sheepishly and muttered a “thanks” before turning around once again.



Kangin felt a strong arm wrapping itself around him, coiling around him like a snake. Then, suddenly everything turned pitch black. Next thing he knew was that he was being violently dragged into a vacant classroom.


“Guess who?” a low voice sounded out.

“Let…let me go! Who are you!” Kangin shouted, trying to break free.

“’Saw you with your little boyfriend just now. Tell me, what did he do to achieve that title?” the same voice demanded an answer.


So, this was what he was after.


“He did nothing shameful. I swear on my soul.”


Furious that he didn’t get the answer that he wanted, Siwon raised his right hand, about to slap the daring little bastard hard across the face when…


“Don’t. You. Dare.”


Siwon’s hand stayed raised in the air, with only his head cocking up slightly to see who the intruder was, as the classroom door swung open on its hinges.


“Yah, well well, look who we have here. It’s your little boyfriend, Kangin.” Siwon was standing at full height now, leaving Kangin hidden behind him, in the darkness of his shadow.


“Let him go.” Leeteuk’s voice sounded cold but there was the presence of a fire burning inside at the same time. It was in total contrast with the beautiful voice that left his lips whenever he sang.


“Don’t you think. A senior bullying a junior just because he didn’t give him the information he wanted, information that never even existed is such a cowardly and stupid thing to do?”


Siwon walked up to Leeteuk slowly, towering over him and threatened, “you had better watch out,” before brushing hard against the fragile boy’s shoulders, and exiting the classroom.


“So, your name is Kangin. Are you alright?”


“Ye...yes! I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go now!” Kangin kept his head down, to avoid all possible eye contact with Leeteuk as he ran out of the classroom, leaving Leeteuk alone inside.



That boy, he sounded so sure. He trusted me, he trusted that my talent was for real. He swore on his soul…but who am I to him?


Scenes with that single unpleasant encounter with Siwon interrogating Kangin kept flashing across Leeteuk’s mind as he thought about what Kangin had said.




Kangin found himself a secluded corner at the back of the school building, sat down and excitedly opened the cover of his lunchbox, revealing its contents.

”Wow, umma has such great ideas to decorate my lunch for me!”


Just as the boy was about to gorge himself with all the tempting food in that single container, there was a loud awkward cough and Kangin looked up.


“Erm…may I sit down?” Leeteuk began.


“Mmm,” Kangin could only manage that single sound, which he then scolded himself in his mind for actually achieving to appear so stupid in front of Leeteuk.


“Why did you say that to Siwon, and with so much confidence?” Leeteuk fiddled with his fingers, suddenly so interested in the wrinkles that they made when he bent and then straightened them.


Kangin felt his heart beat faster, but he managed to keep his composure, “because I’m a fan of your music. I trust it. I believe; I know that what you have is pure talent…and, I trust you.”




And, I trust you.

I trust you…trust you…trust…you…


That was the first time in Leeteuk’s life that he had heard those words that were actually meant for him. And, that made him wonder even more.


After his brief conversation with Kangin, Leeteuk had developed this urge to see him every now and then, and whenever he was walking in the hallway, he would try his best to catch a glimpse of him. It was almost as though he was in love.




End of chapter one, omg. I totally have no idea on what’s going to happen next! D:


I got the inspiration of this story from a manga short-story I recently read, and I twisted it a little bit. Kinda. Anyways, hope you guys liked it!


Current Mood: bitchyirritated with livejournal!
31 December 2012 @ 12:00 am
Current Mood: calmawaiting
20 February 2009 @ 06:35 pm

Title: Love?
Main: Kyuhyun
Genre: Love
Rating: G

“No,” she said firmly, full of certainty, I’m not leaving you.”

Kyuhyun clenched his fists tightly and gritted his teeth. Why was she so stubborn?

”I said,” his voice wasn’t so soft and gentle anymore, it had become something totally different, something monstrous, “leave. I never want to see you again. Forget me.”

”But why!” she pleaded, tears raced down her cheeks.

“Because you will never be happy whenever you’re with me. You’ll live in misery, you’ll be suffering till the day you leave the surface of this earth. Don’t you get it?”

She knew that she couldn’t do anything to change his mind now; but she needed to know the answer to one thing. Just one thing, and she’ll help Kyuhyun fulfill his wish for her to disappear.

She stopped crying, cleared her throat and asked, “Have you ever loved me?”

Kyuhyun was stunned. He couldn’t look at her; he couldn’t make eye contact with her anymore. He thought breaking up was going to be easy, but this was the hardest thing he had ever gone though.

He took in a deep breath and replied coldly, “Never.”

As the answer escaped his lips, she felt her heart shatter into a million pieces – all the hope that she carried, all in hopes that he might actually felt something for her, vanished. The venom spread like wildfire through her veins, as she weeped.

Kyuhyun turned around and walked away, not even glancing back one last time. He let tears stream down his face as he clutched his chest tightly – he felt as though his heart was about to burst out from his chest from all that pain.

Of course, Kyuhyun lied. She was the only woman he had ever truly loved and cared so deeply for. But he did what he had to do. He knew that if she had stuck to him, she would suffer.

And it was only at that point of time that Kyuhyun finally realized, that was the thing about love – being selfish.

Current Mood: Hungry! ):
15 February 2009 @ 06:29 pm

Title: Because I Love You
Main: Leeteuk
Others: Heechul, Eunhyuk, Donghae

Genre: Love, Heartbreak
Rating: Parental Guidiance, explicit content. 

Picking up his car keys and adding some final touches to his hair, Leeteuk was halfway out the door.


“Hyung,” Donghae called out, cuddled up in between Heechul and Eunhyuk in front of the television, “again?”


“Looks like it,” Leeteuk shrugged his shoulders and replied nonchalantly, as he spun the keys on his index finger casually.


“Why do you do this?” This time, Eunhyuk turned to face his hyung, who was already sliding his slender feet into his shoes, halfway out the door.


Leeteuk looked up, shot him another shrug and disappeared behind the gate.


“Don’t wait up.”




Leeteuk glanced at his watch. Eight twenty. Where the hell is that bitch?


Suddenly, as though his thoughts had been read, an annoying, unsynchronized beat coming from a pair of high heels came within earshot.


“Sorry, sorry! Sorry oppa, I’m late! It was unintentional!” a fair lady, no older than twenty three, dressed formally with five-inch high heels that one could immediately deduce that she looked uncomfortable in, appeared beside Leeteuk, panting and trying hard to keep her composure.


Leeteuk didn’t even take a look at her; he just stretched a little and mumbled, “Whatever, nevermind. Let’s get going.”




Two buns and a bottle of water. That was what Leeteuk had bought for his date. But still, the other party still looked so pleased, as she struggled with her high heels and food, almost limping behind Leeteuk.


“Okay, you may go now.” Leeteuk turned around to face the poor girl who was still trying her best to keep up with his pace.


“Wh..what?” She stammered, as she attempted to hide the blisters behind her feet.


“I said,” Leeteuk repeated, as he stared up at the sky and didn’t even bother to check on her, “you can go now.”




Stupid slut. Had such a hard time trying to shake her off.


By the time Leeteuk had entered the house after his date, it already was in total darkness. The tired man sighed and threw his keys onto the table.


As soon as metal hit glass, the lights went on.


Leeteuk cocked his head up and squinted, glanced long enough to see who it was, standing so still beside the light switch.


“Yah, are you trying to give me a fucking heart attack?” Leeteuk spoke.

”Shut up,” Heechul smirked, as he stared hard into Leeteuk’s eyes, concentrating hard into them, as though attempting to hypnotise him, “and answer me this.”


“What? Quick shoot, or else I’m heading to bed.”


Heechul walked towards Leeteuk, rested one hand upon his shoulders with a firm grip and said, “Why are you doing this?”


Silence fell after Heechul’s last words, as Leeteuk immediately knew what his dongsaeng was referring to.


“Because,” Leeteuk spoke coldly, “I want to.”


He pushed Heechul’s hand away and headed to his room. But Heechul unexpectedly pulled him back and threw him up against the wall, literally pinning him there.


“You know what,” Heechul hissed, his fists clenched so tightly that they trembled, “I think you’re doing this just to hurt others. Because, you got hurt before, and now you’re hurting everyone else who has every tried to love you!”


Leeteuk didn’t show the slightest hint of submitting.


“NO! You’re wrong! I do this, because I WANT to! You have no fucking right to tell me what I should be doing! Love? What do you know about love?!”

”STOP!” Heechul felt more empathy than anger in him. He didn’t want to see his hyung behaving like this, because this was not his true self.

His grip on Leeteuk tightened.

“You are my hyung, but you are behaving like a fucking three year old! No, a toddler would be better than you! Look at how pathetic you are! Just because you got hurt doesn’t give you the right to go around hurting any person who has ever tried to love you! You think no one has tried loving you, right! How about that girl just now, that poor girl that you probably fucking abused emotionally! She must’ve done something for you, sacrificed something for you, at any one point of time in your mini-date, am I right! I wasn’t there, but that is what human beings with feelings do when they try to love someone!”


Those words that had spewed out of Heechul’s mouth like lava from a volcanic explosion, those words pierced into Leeteuk’s veins like cold, cold venom, waking him up.


Leeteuk finally stopped struggling.


Fragments of what had happened just before came to his mind. That girl…she was struggling…but she...she still smiled and looked so happy to be with me…No…I can’t do this…I don’t love her…I’ve…I’ve already lost the one I love.


“Maybe,” Leeteuk tried, as tear drops spilled over drop by drop, each one as though racing to see who would reach the end first, “maybe that’s what I am doing.”


Heechul released his grip and backed away. He didn’t take one look at his hyung, at all.


“Maybe. But have you ever experienced pain? Do you even know what it feels like, to give your all to give everything you have just for that one person, but in return, you get your feelings hurt and your heart broken? Have you had hope and faith, and prayed for someone who would feel the same way as you felt for them, and when you finally thought you had met someone like that, you would just experience the pain once more, like a broken record playing over and over again?”


“I haven’t, hyung,” Heechul kept his head down, his eyes suddenly so interested at the floor, “I haven’t experienced anything like that. But, I have experienced, and am experiencing someone I love so dearly hurting others and pretending to be so indifferent when I know it hurts him so deeply inside his fragile heart.”


Leeteuk couldn’t answer. He didn’t know what else to say. It was the first time he had really, truly revealed his feelings to anyone.  A sense of freedom, a feeling like a heavy load had been lifted off him rushed through his veins and into his heart.


Heechul sniffed a little, moved closer to Leeteuk, and gently lifted his chin so that his gaze was locked into the latter’s.


“And I just want you to know that I am always here for you, supporting you no matter what, just so long as you do not ever hurt yourself and others who love you. I promise you, whenever you call my name, I’ll be right there beside you, because…”


“…I love you.”

Current Mood: stressedstressed